Making Emma (pt 1)

Figuring out how to start a family was one of the most difficult things I think we’ve ever done, and we did a 95% DIY wedding for under 5K so that’s saying a lot. We did as any normal 20 and 30 something does and went immediately to Pinterest where we found a whole lotta nada. We took to the regular ole internet as well, but again we struck out. We ended up having to make an appointment with our regular OB/GYN to try to get some information. When we saw our physician things became even more confusing because even they had no answers for us except for a list that was made in 2012 and half of the physicians weren’t even in the state any longer. We went off of the list and found two fertility practices that were accepting new patients, within our insurance network, and in a reasonable driving distance. We had two appointments with different offices, our first was at Bloom and the second was scheduled for the following week with a different physician (after rescheduling a few times). We went in with absolutely no idea of what we were doing and what the plan would be. We met with the Nurse Practitioner for our consultation and get information that we needed and we just clicked. She explained every question we came up with and gave us information on things we hadn’t thought about. She gave us a complete breakdown of our timeline of events with all the appointments we would have and walked out with a folder full of information. We found out that we would need to choose sperm from a bank and once Diana had her cycle we could start the process. Due to Diana being on a special prescription for acne we decided to hold off for a month to ensure that would be out of her system due to risk factors for pregnancy. We did decide to use this upcoming ovulation cycle to do all of the diagnostic work so we wouldn’t be going in blind for when it was go time. The diagnostic work would include ultrasounds, a procedure to check her tubes and ovaries, as well as a bunch of blood work to test everything they could. Once the appointment with the NP was completed we then went and spoke to their financial counselor. She answered every question I had (and there were a bunch considering what I do for a living) and we had a good idea what this process would cost us. We left that appointment knowing that this office was the one for us and ended up calling our consultation with the other office and cancelling the appointment.

We went in for the first ultrasound that checked her ovaries and did blood work to check prenatal levels. A week later we went in for a procedure where a dye was injected into her uterus to check the size, this also flowed into her tubes and ovaries. The right tubes were open and clear, the left tubes were “asleep” which we found out, luckily for us this procedure made it so things were opened up. On the last day of her next cycle we went in for blood work and started counting down our days. We went in following week because that was when she should be ovulating to see when we do the insemination where they did an ultrasound to check the eggs. We decided to give it a few more days because Diana’s cycles were not regular to begin with so she might not have a typical ovulation cycle. Four days later we went in for a second ultrasound to check the eggs, they were slow and weren’t ready yet. At this point we decided it would be best for us to do a semi-round of hormones, 1 full dose over 2 days to see if that wakes the eggs up. After the dose, we had another ultrasound to check the eggs again, they were present but we still weren’t quite there. We discussed it and decided that due to the hormones working the first time we would do a full course, three full shots over three days. Over the next three nights I had the job of giving Diana her shots, 2 inches to the left of her belly button at a 90° angle. On November 14th we had our last ultrasound to check how the hormones worked and they did their magic perfectly. Today was the day to do the “trigger” shot. I gave Diana the shot at 10:30 that night due to the shot needing 36 hours to get her body ready. That trigger shot told was the one that would tell her body it was time to release the egg.

November 16th was the day, our emotions were everywhere and the nerves were high for the both of us. We had very high hopes that everything would work and that it would only take us one try. We slept in to try to make us more relaxed and headed to the office. We went to the side of the office we had never been in and Diana sat on the table as normal. There were some awesome pictures taken because they gave her a pillow case instead of blanket to cover up so she was a bit scandalous trying to cover up her bits. Our doctor and the nurse practitioner came in and reassured us of everything and gave us information about our sperm. We had over 2 million little swimmers ready to go from Donor #13812. The NP got everything ready set up and drew the sperm into a vial with a very long plastic tube. She aligned everything and took a test shot, at this point I was able to take over and push the sperm in the rest of the way. It was a few push, hold 5 seconds, push again all until every last swimmer was in. So unlike some couples in our situation, I am truly able to say I knocked my wife up!! After this the NP had Diana lie down for 20 minutes to make sure everything was ok and she didn’t have a reaction to anything that happened. We were then released and went through a nightmare of trying to get her progesterone cream, a hormone to help supplement due to her prenatal levels. The rest of the day was spent laying on the couch doing nothing but keeping her butt up and staying relaxed. One week later Diana went for routine blood work and found her progesterone levels were low, they upped dose of the cream and she started using the same amount twice a day to help out.

November 30th was by far the most nerve wracking day of my life. I couldn’t go to work because my emotions had the better of me all day. I don’t think either of us slept too well the night before. Diana went to have her blood drawn and then went to work for the morning because they were down people and felt bad about not being there all day. She did tell the office because they said they would call with the results so she made sure to tell them not to call until after 1:00 so we could be together for the call. I received numerous text messages from my mom and coworkers all morning, I think some were asking at every half hour mark. We ended up going out to lunch because we were both starving by the time Diana got home. We went to Panera thinking we wouldn’t get a call for a few hours because they told Diana they don’t usually call patients until after 3. So we were eating when Diana’s phone rang at 1:08, she recognized the phone number and it was the call. We answered and the NP asked us if we were ready to have another person for the holidays next year. I immediately started crying, Diana held it together until we left *just barely.* Once we hung up we just sat in shock for a few moments as it sank in that we are going to be parents. We finished our lunch and then sat and tried to figure out the best way to tell our parents. We decided in person was best so we had a plan to go to the store and find something to surprise them with. We landed on gender neutral onesies and wrapped them up and went on our mission. We first went to my mom’s office because hers was the closest stop. We brought in the wrapped onesie and then the tears started all over again. Once we left there we headed over to my mother-in-law’s office and were introduced to everyone there. We then brought the gift to my dad at home as a “late birthday gift” and our final stop was to my father-in-law’s house where we gave him the onesie and then facetimed with my sister-in-law. Our final visit was to see Grandpa to tell him in person since Grandma found out earlier. Once we had told our family members, we let our select friends in on the secret. We told most by text or picture of a positive pregnancy test.

On December 20th we were almost as nervous when we found as we were for this appointment. It was the first time we would see our future child and that was super emotional. The NP came in, got in position and we saw our baby for the first time. It looked like a peanut with a yolk sack, but then we saw the heart flutter. Hearing the heartbeat for the first time made it more real, up to that point it still hadn’t completely sunk in yet. We had weekly ultrasounds with the fertility clinic until we were 10 weeks pregnant which just so happened to be Diana’s 31st birthday. From there we were released to our regular OB/GYN for the remainder of the pregnancy.

29 weeks later, on August 3rd at 2:16 pm, our Emma Leimomi was born. Tomorrow is her 1st birthday and I can’t believe that it has been an entire year of being her moms. Our lives have changed completely for the better and the rollercoaster we’ve been on has been the most thrilling ride that I never want to stop. Obviously there are more stories about how we made her, but that will be for another day and another time. For now I will say Happy Birthday Eve to my baby and I love you more than words can ever express.